Horsemaning!

Move over Planking, Horsemaning is the new internet craze! Its kinda like a fake beheading pose. It involves two persons: one laying down with his/her head hidden, then another one with only his/her head shown. Here's a sample from me and my sister, Barbie(she's the head):

Realization: Edward SPARKLES. REALLY.

These pics are effin hilarious, even for a Twilight fan like me LOL I still think Jacob's hot though..

Follow Lord Voldemort on Twitter!

Warning: New Cashier Modus Operandi?

My mom went to a local telecom branch to pay for our phone bills amounting to Php 14,500.00. So she gave the cashier Php 15,000.00, thus she should have Php 500 change.

Cashier: "Ma'am, kulang po ng Php 1,000" (Ma'am, you're Php 1,000 short.)
Mom: "15 yan miss." (I gave you 15 thousand.)
Cashier: "Kulang pa po e." (It's really not enough.)
Mom: "15 na talaga yan, paki bilang mo ulit." (I'm sure I gave you 15 thousand. Please count it again.)
Cashier: "Ay,sorry po. Nahulog lang po pala sa may paa ko." (Oh I'm sorry, the bill fell on the floor.)

If my mom wasn't sure of how much money she carried that day, she could've given the cashier another thousand. Of course we're not sure if the cashier did that on purpose or if it was an honest mistake. But still, it's a nice strategy since the customers can't really see what's under the counter. Just be careful and always count your money.

Germany's Mermaid Statue

Legs?? I thought she's a mermaid?

10 Ways To Trend on Twitter

1. Break up with your celebrity bf/gf.
2. Claim that you were raped by an athlete or in some cases, a lot of athletes.
3. Resign from your post.
4. Be pregnant. (Applicable to celebrities only)
5. Be the father of #4's baby.
6. Visit another country, either for a concert or endorsements. (Applicable to celebrities only)
7. Enrage other races.
8. Debut a new TV show or movie. (Applicable to celebrities only)
9. Cook up a "fight" with your co-stars. (Applicable to celebrities only)
10. In Bieber's case, do just about anything and tweet it. (Applicable to JB only)



Note: This post is tagged as "humor". So to narrow-minded people, you can exit my blog now. Thank you!

Disney, why didn't you tell me the truth?!

Hold onto your childhood 'cause mine just got blown up.




Ariel didn't really end up marrying Eric. She saw Eric marrying another chick. Someone (Ursula, I presume) offered her a knife so she can stab Eric to death. But, probably because of love, she couldn't do it. So she commits suicide instead.







Snow White didn't really wake up from a kiss. She woke up because she was being carried by the prince into his horse.













Now this is the biggest shocker. Sleeping Beauty got RAPED. She was asleep for so long that her dad raped her, she gave birth to two kids (while sleeping)!!!







Well Cinderella's safe. Its the stepsisters's story that's been kept from us. So the stepsisters tried to fit the slippers but obviously it didn't fit their feet. So they cut off parts of their feet but some birds saw this and the birds pecked on the sisters' eyes. They ended up as blind beggars.




I know you might not believe me (trust me, I wish they weren't true). But hey, I just read it here. Good luck gettin' over it.

Mermaid on a wheelchair?

Lady Gaga performs as a mermaid on a wheel chair....

And her little monsters aren't so cool with it.

Read what the disabled community has to say here.

Million Dollar Wedding Dress

Behold! The wedding dress that costs around $1M!!






Doesn't really look like a million dollars to me......

Sperm fact!!

Chris Brown vs Dennis Rodman

uuhhhhh.......

Pajeros, Amen.

Dear Miss G,

Malapit na po kong magbirthday at gusto ko pong bisitahin ang mahihirap sa malalayong lugar. Kaya lang yung kotse ko, luma na, baka hindi na kayanin. Kailangang mapaltan na po ito agad-agad.

I hope you will never fail to give a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me.

Love,
Juan de Dios Pueblos

***

Wow, parang My Super Sweet lang ng MTV ah.. Saang mga lugar naman ang nabisita mo gamit yang bday gift na yan? O nagjoyride lang kayo ng iba pang bishops na humiling din ng kotse?

Note: Above letter is just for laughs.

Anne's MRT ride

So Anne Curtis took the MRT just to get to Kylie M.'s concert in Araneta.. Although I think it shouldn't be as big a deal as it is right now, I salute her for being normal. And she is very lucky the train wasn't jam-packed. :)

Mad-hatters!!!

K+12: Yes!

DepEd recently announced their proposal to add 2 more years to basic education. The proposed program would apparently help produce more employable and skillful high-school graduates, given that they have a longer time to study. (Students, read their statements here.)

My take: YES, BUT!!!
Sana naman kung dadagdagan niyo ng 2 years ang basic education ay magformulate naman kayo ng magandang curriculum. Hindi yung paulit ulit at kung ano-ano lang ang ituturo niyo. Example pag nagturo kayo ng addition sa grade school, wag niyo ng ulitin sa high school. Alam na nila yon. A review is fine, pero wag ng isama pa sa exam.

Kung gusto niyo ng "more employable and skillful graduates", e magturo kayo ng cooking, accounting, basic programming o word processing. Yun bang mga magagamit nila para magkatrabaho. I admit, hindi ko nabasa yung Noli tska El Fili kaya hindi ko alam kung talagang madaming aral na mapupulot don.. Pero para sakin, madami pang mas importante at mas kapakipakinabang na pwedeng ituro sa mga bata kaysa sa baliw na naghahanap ng anak. Hindi naman siguro sila makakahanap ng trabaho kung saulado nila kung ano ang nangyari sa love story ni Crisostomo Ibarra at Maria Clara.

CBCP: Ayoko ng chocolate!!!!

Last May 2011, nagrelease ang CBCP ng master list ng mga bagay na ayaw nila. (Read article here.)

Kasama na dito ang bikinis at mini skirts.
CBCP: "Corinthians 11:2-16, states that if a woman fails to keep her head covered, she should be shaved bald."

Reasonable naman na wag magsuot ng mini skirts kung magsisimba diba? Pero dapat kapag nagmini skirt ang mga babae sa ibang okasyon/lugar, e wag niyo naman silang kalbuhin.

Kasama din sa list ang CHOCOLATE.
CBCP: “Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac. It encourages promiscuity, which leads to abortions! … Chocolate is cancerous!”

Eto ang nakakaloka!! Pati naman chocolate?! Nakaka-L ba ang chocolate?!?! E favorite ng mga bata yun, wala naman ata silang nararamdamang kakaiba.. Makapagbawal tong CBCP, kala mo sila hindi kumakain ng chocolate..

Hay nako CBCP, ang labo niyo.. Magagalit sa inyo ang Hersheys, Cadbury at iba pang brand ng chocolate.. Tsaka hello?! Ewan ko lang kung sundin ng mga katoliko yan ha.. Tignan lang natin..

Let's resched

Introducing..... Harold Camping!!! *applause*
<<<<<<<<<

"You and I are living at the time of the end of the world. There's going to be a big earthquake that will make the one in Japan seem like a Sunday school picnic," Camping said. (Read full article here)

Mr. Camping here, announced that rapture would happen on May 21. And he put up about 1,200 billboards to warn us all.

But unfortunately, Harry (can I call you Harry, or you prefer Old?) realized that he counted 5 months early. Wow, and I thought I sucked at math..

Anyways as of today, his latest "hunch" is that the world would be consumed by a fireball on October 21, 2011.

Camping...said he felt so terrible when his doomsday prediction did not come true. (Read it here)

WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?! I mean misleading the world is one thing, but feeling bad that the world is safe is just so freakin' unacceptable!! I know you're humiliated (you should be!) and you probably wanna melt into non-existence now but you seriously have to sort out your values 'cause you're humiliating 200 million Christians with your bad math.

The Starbucks Effect

First of all, I.LOVE.SBUX. The sensation of Chocolate Cream Chip frappe dancing on my tastebuds...... Ooooohhh.... (Ok I want one NOW!!!)

But honestly, most people only buy Starbucks so they can change their profile pictures. People wait for payday or the 50% off promo, wait in a looooong line, hold up their coffees (make sure to show the Sbux logo), click and upload!! They don't care if a tall frappe costs about Php 150.00.

I have nothing against these people because I've done the same before(well,just the photoshoot part). Apparently most Filipinos believe that they're somehow "in" and "sosyal" if they're seen sipping from a Starbucks cup.

"iPhone, please forgive me for I have sinned."

I'm guessing many of you heard about the Confession iPhone app already.

Faith has never been as portable as this! According to Apple, the app is "Designed to be used in the confessional, this app is the perfect aid for every penitent." (Read more...)




Ok so this is how it works:
"It leads you through an "Examination of Conscience" to help you figure out what your real sins are -- and not just by retreading your run of the mill 10 Commandments. The sinful suggestions the app offers are inventive and even age appropriate. If you are worried about all your personal sins being viewed in cyberspace, fear not -- the app customizes each user's list and is password protected for privacy. Once you go to confession, your nefarious revelations are wiped away.

...You still have to go to a priest for absolution. The app simply attempts to make confession more accessible."

Nothing to worry about, this iPhone app is LEGIT. It has been sanctioned by Pope Benedict XVI himself. (Seriously! Read everything here.)

So log on to iTunes and get it now! For only $1.99, be washed clean of your sins anytime, anywhere!!


Note: This app is designed for both iPhone and iPad. :)

Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)

What?! They've been singing since 2000?? How can I not know about them?!

The Lonely Island are Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone. They've been making videos together since September of 2000. They met in Junior High.

Watch more of their funny videos here:
The Lonely Island on Youtube

Super.......man?

Uuhh.. No thanks, I can save myself.